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Ozzak, this is Marcelka and I've asked her to manage things here from now on.
Thank you, Tomas.
I'd start by cleaning up, then we could repaint.
How about pink?
Me?
Me.
Then you'll wear your fabulous little suit with the pleather tie, and this sweetheart will wear a cream-white suit with this silk tie and lure customers by singing your greatest hits.
You soak into me like rain and I'll soak into you, such happiness you won't find.
Ozzak, this is Marcelka and I've asked her to help us get back on our feet starting today.
I'm not singing anything!
If anything does happen.
Call, there's an extension line right up to our apartment.
I don't think that'll be necessary.
We'll find our way to each other, right?
Sir?
His friends call him Ozzak.
Ozzak?
Friends.
Well then, let's get to it, friends.
I'm off, I have a lot of things to do that I've been neglecting because of the shop.
Right.
Of course.
So what should I call you?
How about "boss"?
I know you have your established system here.
I don't want to disrupt it in any way.
I'd just like to get acquainted with it.
Look at the books so I know what sells and how.
Music isn't a business.
But you still sell something now and then, don't you?
I need to start with that.
Where's your ledger?
All my accounting is over there.
In the closet?
Here.
It only goes to May, we have narrow door frames.
You have an error in the total here.
That's a knot.
Find someone who can handle Ozzak.
Done.
Handle the mail.
Done.
Stay hydrated.
Done.
Think through business strategy.
Let's do this.
Would you have any other souvenirs from Tomas's artistic career?
Like the panties women used to throw at him?
We won't attract anyone with underwear.
That's what you think.
Jesus, this one's mine.
Sure, that was Susice in '87.
We mainly need photos of Tomas.
It needs to be obvious that a famous person owns this place.
I destroyed all evidence of my brother's dark past long ago.
Do you have an iron?
Good day.
I understand you have the complete Brutus discography.
But of course, of course we do.
I put it together myself.
That's wonderful.
Does it include "Slackers Go to Work"?
I see you're a connoisseur.
Of course it does.
And what would you say to this?
Concert, October 18th,
1980, Rakovnik.
That's the concert where the gymnasium burned down.
I pulled it from the wreckage myself.
Can I do anything else for you?
Do you have the latest Chinaski?
Yeah.
Where did he go?
My colleague went to get...
A ribbon.
And will he bring the Chinaski?
Hard to say.
The gentleman is waiting for the Chinaski.
Screw off!
Well, I'd better find them for you myself.
Just a moment.
Chinaski, we have them under...
...
Under...
...
Why are they under N?
Well, as in "Nobodies."
So that makes 329.
And the Brutus stuff?
They stay here!
Someone who buys Chinaski has no right to them!
But they're for my daughter!
Even worse!
Ruining your own child!
You know what, I'll come back when your colleague calms down.
I'm calm as a lamb!
Then I'll come back when he changes his mind.
I'm solid as a rock!
When he's not here.
I'm always here!
I won't put up with it anymore, it's terrorism.
Insecure old hag.
Actually it's great that she gives you problems tailored just for you.
Like this one.
How long can a below-average singer stay home who earned five times the average salary during the communist era and put it in a two-percent foreign currency account?
I already asked Mom what the average salary was under communism.
So how much was it?
Squat, she said.
So two percent of five squats is how much?
And what good will it do me when I figure it out?
Dad, hello.
Sweetie.
You're home?
Great.
So you might be interested to know that your daughter is being bullied at school.
Bullied how?
Read this.
How many unnecessary kilometers did a normalization-era pop star drive when she organized concerts at every collective farm that had a partnership with Soviet kolkhozes?
A lot, actually.
Do you know how many collective farms there were back then?
Father, don't you realize why I have to calculate this?
Well, it's obvious.
To practice math, right?
Read this.
How many medals of labor did a below-average pop singer receive when he decided to participate in a youth festival in Havana?
Well this, this is outrageous!
I never got any medals, just a foreign currency voucher for a Yugo.
What's a foreign currency voucher?
What's a Yugo?
Both are nothing.
So what are we going to do about it?
I'll go to the school.
Or I'll write a letter.
To the school, on paper.
Dear Professor, please stop giving my daughter humiliating math assignments.
If you have something against me personally, we'll settle it.
Face to face, man to man.
What's her name?
Zborilova.
The Comet?
That hag is still alive?
And she still slams students' heads against the blackboard?
No, they banned that in the nineties, apparently.
Now she just twists ears.
That's nothing new.
Why do you think Ozzak's left earlobe points up?
She taught you too?
So you know what's going on, and you'll help me.
Sure I will.
Of course I'll help you.
How many unnecessary kilometers does a normalization-era pop star drive?
Let's calculate the kilometers separately.
Excuse me, I'd like to buy something.
Buy?
Go to my colleague, she knows everything about selling music.
Thanks.
Excuse me, madam, could you...
I can't do anything.
Nobody wants me here.
Young man, nobody.
You're a monster, sir.
Me?
I'm proud of it.
With your pop, pop, pop.
You'll drive this place into the ground.
Artistic self-reflection.
Incomprehensible to pop kitsch artists.
Beer-hall primitivism.
Would you buy something like this?
Me?
No.
No?
Then no!
You'd rather have some stupid two-note ditty, right?
No.
I'd like to speak with your boss.
You're all wimps.
I'll go to Ozzak, he already sorted out the Comet.
He didn't, they haven't lifted his school ban since 1988.
I got twenty percent.
Twenty percent, that's nonsense.
Even Michal David didn't have that.
Shouldn't we simplify it with the kolkhoz numbers?
No.
We should sign the letter.
Sweetie, she straightened it out.
Be glad you have both earlobes pointing down.
Is the number of collective farms correct?
Three hundred ninety-four, but a lot of them were called Red Dawn, and they get mixed up with state farms.
It wasn't easy.
Hello?
What?
And who?
Hey, some strange man from the shop called.
What did he say?
Nothing.
He's crying.
I see you've started settling in here.
So, where's the man who was crying?
He drove him away.
Dude, he wanted Madonna.
She attracts those types.
And he repels all customers.
And without customers we'll go bankrupt.
That's true.
And what about our honor?
Without that we'll go bankrupt too, and lose our ears on top of it.
That's true.
Man, you can't keep agreeing with everyone.
That's true.
Mr. Pacovsky, you have to decide: either we sell here or we preach.
Well, definitely sell.
Sell what?
How?
To whom?
According to whom?
And most importantly, don't say they're both right.
Fine, fine, then each of you sell your own way.
Whoever does better wins.
I'm not going to compete with someone like that.
Why not?
Whoever sells more CDs by the end of the week wins.
And whoever wins is right.
And whoever is right becomes head of sales.
And whoever becomes head of sales is the head of sales.
Who wants to spin for a discount on the wheel of fortune?
Go ahead.
3 plus 1, that's wonderful, congratulations.
And what does that mean?
This beautiful prize means that...
When you buy a collection of three romantic synthesizer CDs, you get one Dara Rolins free.
Three hundred crowns, please.
Thank you.
Next, next, next, next.
Who else wants to try their luck?
Lexa, buy a CD.
I already bought three.
Is that all you've got?
Let's do it the same way she does.
Like her, never.
But we'll do it like her.
But our way.
Thanks.
Come back tomorrow, there'll be new pieces.
Wow Lexa, that was an idea.
Beer with a CD for a buck.
So what's for dinner tonight?
I'm starving.
Schnitzel, 20 minutes before serving.
And this is what the letter to the Comet looks like before someone signs it.
Sign and there'll be schnitzel.
I also have mashed potatoes hidden somewhere you'll never find.
That's blackmail.
No, no, no, that's the principle of cooperation.
I help you and you help me.
Cooperation?
They tried to force that on me 20 years ago.
I didn't sign then either.
No signature, no schnitzel.
Little girl, back then they sent me to a peace song festival in Ulaanbaatar as punishment, and I survived that too.
Fine, then now you'll be surviving on crackers.
Sweetie, you're not going to stop cooking just because of some stupid math problems.
You have five minutes to think about it.
Good day, Marcelka.
I just stopped by to see if you need anything.
Can you make schnitzel?
Of course.
Great.
And where would you hide mashed potatoes here so I wouldn't find them?
In the oven.
Yep.
So how are you?
Excellent, Marcelka, excellent.
Like divine cooking.
You'll regret this.
Tomas, I'd need a little favor from you.
What kind?
I had this promotional idea, but I'd need you for it.
Anything, then.
An autograph signing session with Tomy Pacsy.
The ladies will come flocking.
Never.
What should I wear?
No, no, no, that won't work.
This won't do, Tomas.
It's too tight on you.
Wait, let me work with it.
And who are you?
Alright, alright, come.
Hi.
What's going on here?
No comment.
Again?
You maybe, once more.
Hey, it pinched.
Bro, someone might come in.
Take her downstairs to the basement, like we always do.
What?
Like I always do.
Sure.
One more time, okay?
Again.
And I'm done, I'm done.
Good day.
Dude, bro, you betrayed me.
What's wrong?
You want to keep eating raw meat?
Yeah, I don't know.
Sasha, you look great.
Around forty, husband left you, IQ about seventy.
Yeah, typical fan of my father.
Isn't this a scam?
Look, everyone else signs autographs but not me.
Look, I'll fold this over and he'll sign right here.
Sasha, five minutes.
And this amazing clipboard is yours.
I just don't know what to say.
Just imagine.
I know, it won't be easy.
Imagine that Dad is your idol.
But he's not that ugly a guy.
Sasha, great.
You're starting to lose it.
How I loved you.
Can you imagine, I even wanted to marry you.
You were simply my entire youth.
You fancy little show-off.
What could that bimbo be selling them?
Bro's last record was a vinyl in '88.
The Pacsy album is sold out, but I have Helena Vondráčková.
She's his friend.
That's not fair, she's cheating.
If she can, we can too.
Mr. Pa...
Maestro, can you sign for me?
Of course, my pleasure.
You know my songs?
Of course, everyone knows them.
Really?
My grandma used to play them for me at bedtime when I was little.
Really?
Really.
Actually, I still fall asleep to them.
So the two of us basically sleep together.
Yeah, I only sleep with you.
In that case, maybe we could sometime...
Dad, don't hold things up.
Of course, pardon, right.
Thank you, maestro.
And if you ever feel lonely...
Next.
I only wanted his autograph, not his underwear.
It just happened on its own.
Ladies!
May I draw your attention to our sale: Eighties with an Eighty.
We're offering an eighty percent discount on all eighties music, so if you'd like any CD...
We already have one.
You already have one?
CD, CD.
Where did you get it?
Over there.
And how come the sleeve has no picture and nothing written on it?
It's the white album, madam.
An absolute rarity.
But it's Led Zeppelin inside.
I don't care what's inside.
As long as he... he signs it for me.
So you have the same number of marks.
Sure?
You've.
So the winner over the Bimbo is...
What winner?
Tomas, that's some kind of nonsense.
Are you sure?
Yes, I counted it myself.
I wouldn't rely too much on that.
Jesus, good day, Professor.
Pacovsky!
No!
Not you, Pacovsky.
I always took you for a sly one who hides in the shadows, sails with the current, and pushes his retarded brother in front of him.
And with this you truly surprised me.
If you have something against me personally, we'll settle it face to face, man to math teacher.
There's even a provocation at the end here.
Come by tonight, I'll show you paradise, with love, Tomy Pacsy.
When I saw you clowning around in Ein Kessel Buntes, I was sure I was right about you, but this letter made me take an interest in you again.
Well, I'm glad, so.
A colleague bought your latest CD yesterday, the white album.
We listened to it in the staff room and...
Pacovsky, have you gone deeper?
There's authenticity in that music, passion, feeling, and the range, you know, that kind of...
It was absolutely gorgeous.
But that's Led Zeppelin, that's Robert Plant singing, not me.
What?
And the letter is also a mix-up, I wrote it, well actually I didn't really write it, so it's a misunderstanding.
Look, you really, I swear, you won't believe this, but I really can't help it, okay?
It's my brother's fault.
Pacovsky.
No, Comrade Teacher!
And it's back down again, as it should be.
Great.
So again, how much did the Pacovsky brothers earn from fraudulent CD sales?
I've got it.
Marcelka sold at a discount and Ozzak didn't give change for meal vouchers, so he's actually ahead by three CDs.
But I got two black eyes because of him, so call it one.
I'm still the boss.
I'm the boss.
I'm the boss!
Ah, schnitzel, smells good, nice and crispy.
Well, that's worth at least one mark.
Ozzak, I've decided who'll be head of sales.
It'll be you.
Because you deserve it.
Well, excellent.
Mr. Ozzak, from now on I will only listen to metal.
Correct.
And I'll be quiet the entire workday.
And I'll fetch your beer.
Bimbo, I must be dreaming.
I really must be dreaming.
Well then, well then.
Bimbo, go fetch some beer.
And quick, before I wake up.
Chop, chop.
Yeah, yeah.
Bro, hang up your gold record.
Yeah, yeah.
Sweetie, bring me meatballs, or no, roast a duck and bring it down to the shop.
Something.
Never, never.